Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
They should really pass out barf bags in church
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
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