Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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