so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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