i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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