so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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