oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
