im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
