i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
