yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize