I love black thongs
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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