I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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