we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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