I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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