No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
