I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Randomize
