I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
where are my eyebrows?
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
