we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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