nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
