nut hugger
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
last night I used snow as a chaser
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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