yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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