The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
