Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
