Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I lost the right to judge tonight
Lo siento on account of my penis...
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
