Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
