he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
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