I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Cover your peen. We're going out.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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