HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
