I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
