I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
So much rum. So many feels.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize
