Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
