shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
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