I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Drake has all the answers
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
