Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I'm jealous of your bromance
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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