I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
