your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
