its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Floor bacon is actually really good
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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