he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize
