my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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