he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
