Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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