Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
