we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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