dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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