woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Is Oprah even human
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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