What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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