dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
