Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
