are you still at the devil's house?
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
As shirtless as possible
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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