She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
