ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Randomize
