Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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