how hairy? two words: wookie tits
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
