Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
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