trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
