wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
