I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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