it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
