dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Randomize
