I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
